Skip to main content

doors

This post was written in 2018 and never published.  This organization, Breast Wishes, is stronger than ever and granting so many wishes of joy to so many women (and men!) with breast cancer.  In fact, it was just this year that I discovered that my wish was the first one that Breast Wishes granted!  I had no idea.  I assumed it was an established organization when I was introduced to it, but it turns out they were just getting started.  They recently held a fundraising even where they raised around $170,000!  That will provide a wish to nearly 115 beautiful souls. That is mind blowing! 

I contacted Breast Wishes because I was done with my treatment and I'm 'supposed to go back to normal'. What does 'normal' even look like? My husband and I had been purposeful with our time the last two years; making lots of memories and having lots of experiences. So, what would bring me JOY? When we moved into the new house, it was our plan to replace all the interior doors with updated white panel doors. But as most of you know, EVERYTHING takes a back burner to cancer. Those doors started to become physical reminders of a life off course. It seemed silly at first to ask for new doors. But doors are so symbolic. My home has become my safe place; one of the few places I feel protected and in control. Cancer steals those things from you. So, to have new doors that symbolize new open 'doors' in my life and to have them as daily, physical reminders of others' goodness is an unbelievable gift. Everyday, I am reminded to seek JOY in my life, to look for opportunities to help someone else and above all, practice gratitude. All because my ugly doors were lovingly and generously replaced with beautiful, updated doors. My heart is full.






   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

two legged hearts

I remember I was hurriedly trying to buckle my then 4 year old into her carseat.  I was, again, rushing to another appointment and was barking orders to her and lamenting about something she did that displeased me.  She grabbed my cheeks with her little hands and with a maturity beyond her years said, “oh, mommy. It will all be okay.  I promise. It will be okay.”  I paused, kissed her little face and agreed with her. Children have a way of healing our hearts.  I used to tell my daughter all the time that she made my heart happy.  Why have I stopped telling her this? Not only does she make my heart happy, but she has healed my heart.   SHE, in essence, has made everything okay.  She healed the bitterness I held in my heart for my ex-husband (who started a family with another woman while married to me). Her cuddles and flittering kisses healed my broken spirit in the darkest days of my cancer treatment.  She has healed the void my mother’...
Post a Comment
Read more

transforming grief

This summer a Noble Circle Sister, Katie, died. While she had cancer for nearly 24 years, it was still so shocking that she actually died. She was, for me, the gold standard of how to thrive and 'beat cancer'. I just assumed she'd live another 20 years.  I NEEDED her to live another 20 years. Because if she did, that would mean I could too.  You see, it's extraordinarily hard to stay focused on your OWN story when you have cancer.  Someone else's story easily derails you.  It sends you into the depths of fear and the 'what ifs'.  Katie lived though.  I mean she really lived.  She loved well, served selflessly, laughed a lot and sure saw the world.  She was super smart to boot.  I mean, she had a patent for developing the coating that goes on airplanes that repels lightening.  So, you can thank Katie the next time you fly.  I had such admiration for her.  While serving lunch to my 5 year old, I asked her if she wou...
Post a Comment
Read more

intentions realized

About this time last year, I felt like I needed to start focusing back on releasing negative emotions. I mean, I try not to harbor them or hold on to them, but sometimes it takes effort to work those emotions out. I consulted with Dr. Silberstein from BeatCancer one day in the middle of cancer treatment. I was looking for lifestyle changes to help reduce my cancer recurrence risk. She recommended I get rid of my microwave (I did) and eat plants (I started slowly) and drink a special green tea (I tried). Then she asked me a question I thought unusual. She asked me what was going on in my life 8-10 years ago. I didn’t have to even think about it. I blurted out that I was entrenched in grief from my then husband’s affair which resulted in a child and subsequent divorce. She just made that muffed ‘hhmm. uh huh’ noise. That noise told me she wasn’t surprised to hear of my emotional trauma. She commented that out of the thousands of cancer patients she has counseled, the majority...
Post a Comment
Read more